This blog is home to more than 700 blogs. Once in a while I re-blog a post from the past for newer readers. This post, first published on May 17, 2015, about creating and healing wounded hearts is never out of date.
Today I wounded someone I love. The arrow, straight and sharp, flew precisely and with surprising velocity directly to his heart, carrying the words to the heart-spot most vul- nerable to pain. In horror I heard his heart crack, leaving an ugly fissure. I shrank from his anger and left the room.
How did those words get past my lips? Why on this day did my guard drop and allow this arrow to escape? The Twelve Step program warns of the imminent danger of being in a state of hunger, anger, loneliness, and/or tiredness. Flipping back the pages of past weeks in my mind, I locate all four. I see irritability over issues, big and little, rising up and unresolved. I see physical and emotional exhaustion. I also find another companion to these four – the one with the most power: fear. I find an attitude of scarcity competing every day with an attitude of gratitude.
I muse about this all, waiting hopefully for a reconciling conversation. I have learned once again the dangers of living in enemy-occupied territory. I have lost this battle of evil over love. And my heart is cracked, too.
Will this fissure cause indelible damage? Will this fault line produce a volcano? Or will shared love seal over the crack? Whatever the result, I have re-learned a hard lesson. Pain causes pain. Hurt people hurt people. Amends will be needed. But only the love of God can heal our hearts and make us whole.
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