Some of you may know that my husband Fred died in October after years of suffering from fourth stage COPD and congestive heart failure. This reflection is about my journey without him.
“Well done, good and faithful servant,” our magnificent Master will say, “You have been faithful in the smallest things, take charge of ten cities,” “five cities,” “many things,” or whatever is appropriate (Luke 19:17; Matt. 25:21).
I suspect there will be many surprises when the new creative responsibilities are assigned. Perhaps it would be a good exercise for each of us to ask ourselves: Really, how many cities could I now govern under God? If, for example, Baltimore or Liverpool were turned over to me, with power to do what I want with it, how would things turn out? An honest answer to this question might do much to prepare us for our eternal future in this universe.
Could it be that Fred is/will be enjoying eternal life working on his own project, but I still have something (what could it be?) to do here?
As I write this, I still wish Fred could come and pick me up. That longing made me go to my “grieving wall” where I have taped several pieces of writing that ease my mind about Fred’s death. I read this by Symeon the New Theologian (922-1022) again:
“For if we genuinely love Him,
We wake up inside Christ’s body
where all our body, all over,
every most hidden part of it
is realized in joy as Him,
and He makes us, utterly, real,
and everything that is hurt, everything
that seemed to us dark, harsh, shameful,
maimed, ugly, irreparably
damaged, is in Him transformed
and recognized as whole, as lovely,
and radiant in His light
we awaken as the Beloved
in every last part of our body.”