Thoughts for a Sad Day

My Journey

I have been married to a proud African-American man for nearly 25 years. So I have witnessed (and even experienced) the mistreatment and discrimination, not to mention the rejection and pain, he has dealt with from the justice system, from the law enforcement community, in the work place, and even in the church.

I have felt the sting as we tried to find housing discriminationin Flint, Michigan – one of America’s most segregated cities.  I have been in the passenger’s seat (and even the driver’s seat) when we were stopped by a profiling cop (even on Thanksgiving Day) in several cities.  I have stood next to him as he waited to be served at a jewelry counter while people who came to the counter after us were immediately waited on.  I have watched as sales personnel drop change and bills into his hand so they don’t risk touching him. I was with him when he drove more than a hundred miles to meet with a new employer (with whom he had only spoken on the phone) after being told the night before that he had the job.  How else can one interpret being told by the receptionist (after she spoke to the boss) that the job had already been filled (evidently between 5:00 PM and  8:00 AM). What could I say as his heart and pride were broken one more time?

Therefore, I understand the turmoil over the Grand Jury’s decision in Ferguson, Missouri not to prosecute the policeman who shot an unarmed Michael Brown. I can even empathize with the hopelessness of young blacks that perhaps fueled the chaos and destruction last night. My step-son was one of them; he died in prison at the age of  22.

And  yet, even though the vision of the Watts and DetroitFerguson riot riots were fresh in my mind, last night still took me by surprise. I watched in tears as the flames grew – and as my husband shut himself off in a room of anger and disappointment and the ghosts of the past.

This morning I read this sobering but hopeful quote by Pat Farrell, OSF, who speaks the truth in love to situations such as Ferguson – and to the Bables household.

“What does non-violence look like for us? It is certainly not the passivity of the victim. It entails resisting rather than colluding with abusive power. It does mean, however, accepting suffering rather than passing it on. It refuses to shame, blame, threaten or demonize. In fact, non-violence requires that we befriend our own darkness and brokenness rather than projecting it onto another. This, in turn, connects us with our fundamental oneness with each other, even in conflict.”

As the Christmas season approaches, we all need to take another look at our willingness (or unwillingness) to “befriend our own darkness and brokenness” and then connect with our “fundamental oneness with each other even in conflict.”  That’s how the person whose birth we celebrate acted every day of his life.  How can we venerate him and do any less?


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4 Responses to Thoughts for a Sad Day

  1. Barb, thanks for reading this with an open spirit. The old adage about “walking a mile [or a lifetime] in my shoes” is still true.

  2. Al & Barb Masselink says:

    Thanks Karen & Fred – for helping us see through another’s eyes, ears and heart- we do not understand, I’ll be the first to admit this. Please pray for us to have the eyes, ears, hearts of our LORD Jesus. Barb Masselink

  3. Thanks, Bill. Blessings to you and yours as well.

  4. Bill B says:

    Thanks for another thought-provoking, faith-enriching, and morally-sobering blog. Your quote of Farrell about befriending our darkness and brokenness cuts to the heart. In the midst of tears for so many who suffer, may you and Fred have a blessed Thanksgiving.

    William R. Boersma
    Minister of Care
    Christ Memorial Reformed Church
    595 Graafschap Rd
    Holland, MI 49423

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